A very amusing post from the Roanoke Valley Triathlon Club's listserv and provided for you here with permission from the author:
As a relative newbie to the sport (this is my second year), I found the exercises from John Mora's book, Triathlon 101, helpful for planning for my first season (offered with a little poetic license).
1. Personal Inventory:
Rate your cardiovascular fitness level right now based on number of weekly aerobic workouts and how long you've been doing this routine (1-10, with 1 being a contestant at the beginning of the "Biggest Loser" and 10 being Samantha McGlone’s "I can suck up anything for three more minutes.")
Rate your Front Crawl Swimming Skills based on number of pool lengths you can currently swim without stopping (1 - 10, with 1 being "I can put my head under water" to 10 being "I am swimming across Smith Mountain Lake lengthwise every other weekend"), and your understanding of technique (1-10, with 1 being "Dog Paddling is kinda like crawling, isn't it?" to 10 being "If only Michael Phelps would glide a little more, he'd be faster"). Samantha McGlone summed it up best: "And you keep wondering why that middle-aged, pot-bellied age grouper is whipping your skinny, sculpted [backside]."
Rate your open water swimming comfort level from 1-10 with 1 being "Eeuw, this lake mud is ruining my toenail polish!" to 10 being "Large, moving, dark shadows in the water help me improve my swim times!"
2. Setting a Realistic Goal:
Approximate number of hours you can commit to weekly training that won't destroy family life, career, or both.
Based on number of training hours, what triathlon distance is right for you with Sprint (5-10 hours/week training) being "I get a microscopic M-Dot tattoo under my arm" to Ironman (20-30 hours/week training) being "I want to achieve a higher level of spiritual being through endorphins and Ibuprofen."
Picking a race based on level of amenities rated from 1-10 (with 1 being "After we slop the pigs, let's cool off in the cow pond" to 10 being "USAT sanctioned event on the next block with great swag").
Or, my ideal race would be rated a 1 (sprint distance, indoor swim, small race, nearby, no traffic, sunny and warm, flat as a pancake--the way the world was before tectonic plates messed it up) to a 10 (Ironman distance, ocean swim during cyclone season and multiple shark sightings, on a small Pacific island that requires 3-4 plane changes, 10 hour time change, and $300 in excess baggage fees for bike, on a course that makes Krakatoa volcano look rolling with course open to car, motorcycle, and ox cart traffic).
Picking a level of accomplishment rated from 1-10 (with 1 being "I have great long-term disability insurance, so why not?" to 10 being "Ya' know, Luc Van Lierde's Kona course record is looking mighty breakable--after all, it's been 12 years!")
3. Motivation Exercise
Without thinking, list 50-100 benefits of achieving your triathlon goal. Anything counts. (Sorry, underarm microscopic M-dot tat already taken.)
4. Start training and have fun!
Comments